In a previous article, I was writing about 6 reasons why ladyboys doubt of men, it’s justice to share my thoughts about the reverse now 🙂 And I have also 5 good reasons why men usually doubt of ladyboys.
1. Ladyboys have bad press
The mass media have a big influence on what people believe and think. I don’t know for USA, but in France and UK I happened to watch documentaries about Philippines and Thailand many times on TV, and I remember those who present Filipinos as online scammers and Thais ladyboys as prostitutes and bar girls.
The problem is that, of course, people have the tendency to believe everything they see on TV, just because you know, “it was seen on TV”. This is bad because it calls for bias and generalisation, and people don’t always have a second critical look on what they watch or read. However, where there is smoke, there is fire. This bad reputation didn’t show up from nowhere, and that leads us to reason number 2…
2. Online scamming is rampant amongst ladyboys
Sad but true. Which trans-oriented man never encountered a scammer while strolling on ladyboy dating sites (even on Ladyboys Kisses)? We all had, whether we realised it or not. Taking the Filipino example once again, you must know that poverty here is nothing like you know in your western country. Here, being able to make $200 a month out of scamming activities is enough to feed a family. The job doesn’t require any special skill, but to be able to seduce naive men.
Girls who live in country side have almost no job opportunities there if they don’t move to a big town (although I would not be so indulgent for those living in big cities like Manila, Cebu, Davao…) and the number of ladyboy scam artists operating out there is just sad. And I’m not even talking about the gold diggers (different case) and the sex-workers (for whom I have the biggest respect compared to scammers and gold diggers).
3. Ladyboys are good at pretending
Ladyboys are good at acting and pretending. They were maybe not born this way, but they had to learn and practice. Because they’re born males, and possibly had a boyish education for the first years of their lives, so it’s a big piece of work to transition to female then. And it requires much practice in order to modify manners, walk, voice, facial expressions and so on… Social and family pressure in their early years might have forged boyish habits and manners that are difficult to modify without a lot of practice.
And of course, that includes how to behave sexy and seduce men. Ladyboys are flirty, it’s maybe not even intentional anymore! More like a deep habit they forged by practicing day after day. Knowing that they’re good actors and good at turning males on, some can feel insecure and doubtful. Is she really who she shows she is? Or is she playing with me or validating her skills? (read more in my book, insights of what to go through to become a ladyboy)
4. Ladyboys are flirty
That leads us to the following point. Ladyboys are often flirty people. I often correlate with gay men, who also are often flirty, because ladyboys and gay men are similar in many ways. A fortiori, every ladyboy happened to be a young gay men before becoming a transgender. And gay men are infamous for being flirty and very open to sex (hey, just go to the nearest gay bar of your town to compare with straight people). Thus, ladyboys might keep some of this gay attitude. Yes, ladyboys are flirty creatures.
There is also a second explanation why ladyboys are flirty. Because they are looking for VALIDATION. They put a lot of efforts in becoming who they are, feminisation, make up, voice, clothes… They want to go out and appear to the world and being told that they look feminine and passable as women. That’s validation. As a matter of fact, they also need to get validation from men, whether they’re straight or bisexuals. They don’t want to sleep with all of them, but they want at least to know that they CAN seduce them. The more they can seduce, the more they validate, and the more they feel good and comforted in their choice.
5. Ladyboys are looking for security
Who doesn’t? But I’m sorry to have a French (and thus western) education where we choose a partner that we LOVE before looking at financial concerns. Not in the opposite order! That is also true for transgender women who live in western countries, but it’s very more true for Asia like Philippines and Thailand.
A western man earns in average 3 or 4 times more than the average Filipino (and I’m even talking about a low salary category western man). Knowing that, it’s all advantageous for an Asian ladyboy to try her ass off to hook up with a western man instead of a local. They could get a local boyfriend, with a decent job and live a peaceful life. But that doesn’t guarantee as much security as having a western boyfriend.
In Philippines (where I live with my ladyboy girlfriend, Anne) I regularly hear statements like “My boyfriend should be able to support me financially” or “If my boyfriend earns $2 000 and we’re living in Philippines, why should I bother to work full time for $200, it’s pocket money“. I can’t even blame them because yeah, it doesn’t make sense to work full time for just 1/10th of the couple’s earnings. There is nothing wrong in looking for security, but when it’s too much, it makes it difficult to believe in genuine love feelings.
Of course, just like my previous article, I want to recall you that you shouldn’t generalise, and I don’t generalise myself in my writings. This is based on facts, on the multiple people I talked to and the stories friends and random people shared with me throughout the years. We all have reasons to doubt, but I know we can all maximise our chances to meet good people, given that we are aware and conscious of the dangers out there.
I believe everybody can find his/her right one, and I believe it can be a fruitful relationship with genuine feelings and intentions from both sides.
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