Here is a problem that I wanted to tackle, that will maybe give men some insights about why do ladyboys doubt of men, a priori. More or less, I am compiling here the stories and experiences I’ve been told here and there amongst my friends (whether they’re online friends or real life friends) and from my Facebook group for dating ladyboys.
Yes, when you approach a ladyboy or the first time, she already has many doubts regarding your intentions. Maybe a very young one with no experience with men would not, but passed 20 years old she already had enough bad experiences to be quite doubtful. So here it is, you meet a ladyboy and you start to make acquaintance, you are at first labeled as a “potentially dangerous for her heart”. And then you have to more or less prove that you are worth her time.
Here are 6 reasons (6 typical stories I often hear) why ladyboys usually doubt of men.
1. Many men label ladyboys as sex-workers
And this fact is very true. Look at yourself. When this world is unknown to you and you try to get documented about ladyboys, everything you find is porn and escorts. Google for “ladyboys” and see for yourself, it’s full of porn. Google for “ladyboys in **any name of city**” and you will surely find a couple of escorting websites and classified ads for masseuses. Finally, spend your holidays in Thailand/Philippines and what you see of the transgender community is likely to be just prostitutes and bar girls…
I must be one of the only few websites/blogs that is pushing the topic further and seriously about the emotional debate. For the rest, it’s only about sex. So many men have this preconceived idea that ladyboys are sex workers, or sex objects. Thus they behave like pigs and it’s a waste of time and energy for these *innocent* ladyboys looking for love.
2. Men often use ladyboys to fulfil their fantasy
Ladyboys are all about fantasy of course. Why would a man be attracted to a ladyboy if it’s not because he has the sexual fantasy of an ultra feminised boy? But ladyboys are also humans, they’re not objects, and they’re not here to fulfil your fantasy. They are human beings looking for love, just like you. Of course, I am very happy with my ladyboy girlfriend, sexually happy, and I definitely like the fact that she is a ladyboy when we have sex. But I’m not using her for my curiousity, I am truly in love with her.
Most men, on the other hand, have the same fantasy and are crazy about turning this fantasy into reality, but nothing more. They will lie and make you believe they’re serious when in fact they just want to have a good fuck and go away. Ladyboys see it everyday.
3. Men could leave her because of the children
This is an issue for young men who don’t already have children. Older men who are already fathers (usually divorced, or willing to have a double relationship) are not really bothered that ladyboys can’t give birth. But when you’re young, and you have a ladyboy girlfriend but you know she can’t give you a child, that’s an issue.
Stories go that, often when men reach the age when they want to found a family and make children, they make the decision to break up with their ladyboy girlfriend and look for a genetic girl instead. They are still trans-oriented, but will keep it in the inside and go back to real women because they want children of their own blood.
4. Men could leave after she gets SRS
I can’t remember where I read this statistic, but indeed most of the men who are trans-oriented are attracted to pre-op / non-op ladyboys. A few percentage are attracted to post-ops (meaning she got her genitals cut and has an artificial vagina). So men lose interest when a transgender girl cuts off her penis (or does SRS — Sex Reassignment Surgery), and that’s a typical reason for break up.
While this reason is a bit subjective (when you love someone unconditionally, you must accept her the way she is, right?), it is something that I hear many times. Myself, I often think about it and I don’t want my girlfriend to get SRS. Luckily she doesn’t want it either, because of the health complications and because she loves sex too much, so our relationship is not affected by this.
5. Men might not assume their relationship openly
While the man could be truly serious and in love with his ladyboy girlfriend, he is maybe not ready to live with it to the eyes of the outside world. Walking in the street, holding the hand of your ladyboy girlfriend… Yes, people will stare at you, but you’re maybe just paranoid. If you are caucasian and you’re in Asia, people will stare at you anyways. If your ladyboy girlfriend is sexy, people will stare at you. But some men are paranoid and think too much.
“Can the people notice that my girlfriend is not a real girl?” They have this fear that people notice and badmouth about them. Often, the ladyboy is beautiful and passable, but men still feel this fear to face it in public. I don’t have this problem myself, my ladyboy girlfriend is very passable and almost nobody can tell that she’s not a real girl. People stare at us often (a beautiful couple Asian and caucasian, it’s catching attention!) but I just feel proud, and even though some gay guys will throw a wink to my girlfriend because they noticed her, I will not feel shy about it.
6. Odds of getting a serious boyfriend shrink as ladyboys get older
Getting a serious boyfriend, even husband, is a race against the clock for ladyboys. Outside beauty is like a flower, it fades away with the time… Of course, men are interested in young and beautiful ladyboys, so the odds of finding a life partner get smaller and smaller as ladyboys get older. If they’re still single passed 30, the situation gets bad for them.
At this age, they have enough bad experiences for being full of doubts when they meet new men. “Is this guy just going to use me for sex or is he seriously interested in a long term relationship with me?”
In any case, men are often liars. That’s well known, when they want to fuck, their brain is not anymore the organ that thinks, if you see what I mean… Since the ladyboy fantasy is so strong, and the opportunities limited, they often lie to get laid when in fact, one of the reasons cited above makes that they would never like to invest into anything serious.
When dating ladyboys, men should be aware of this handicap they have when they start courting a girl. You will be considered a player until you can prove her otherwise. Be polite and gentleman, talk to them like you’re talking to the most delicate of the women, not like you’re talking to a prostitute. These advices (almost guidelines) and many more come from my book: How to date a ladyboy.
And you what do you think about it? Can you increase the number of my 6 stereotypical stories or do you disagree on some of them? Thanks for commenting and sharing 🙂