If you read my blog, you might feel like ladyboy and money are two matters that can’t be taken away from each other. And you’re right, as money is involved in 99% of the love relationships with ladyboys. Don’t make me wrong, it’s not bad in itself, but look, these girls usually come from poor countries, and being a ladyboy takes money for a lot of things (surgery, hormones, clothes, make up…). And many ladyboys are or used to be sex workers, so they highly involve money in their relationships with men.
Ok so why am I writing all this? Here in Philippines (where I live with my ladyboy girlfriend) I can see a pattern that tends to repeat more and more. Well, I guess Thailand has the exact same thing. But very often, when a ladyboy has a foreign boyfriend (usually an older man from a western country, but not always older), she stops working and gets fully supported by her boyfriend or husband. After all, you are earning 10 times more than your ladyboy girlfriend, and providing that you are living together and already pay for the rent and groceries, that’d be pointless to let your girlfriend work 8 hours a day for just pocket money to you.
That could also be that you are not living together (you still live abroad) and sending money to your ladyboy girlfriend so that she can afford a living. Or you could also have a condo in Manila/Cebu where you spend two months every year and that your ladyboy girlfriend maintains when you’re away from the country.
Is it right to support your ladyboy girlfriend?
Well, is it right or is it wrong, it’s all up to you. I personally believe that work is big part of every human’s life. It makes you busy, teaches you the real value of money, you know, the money that you work hard to get, and what it takes to treat yourself with the latest smartphone instead of getting it falling form the sky (i.e letting your husband buying it, and all the other things too). Maybe it’s my French culture, but in a couple it’s unfair that one is working 8 hours a day and the other is just sitting on her ass taking the profits. And unfortunately, I know of many couples men-ladyboy who do like this.
I was talking to a friend of a friend on a terrace last day in Greenbelt (one of the big malls in Manila), and she told how bored she was (she had the time to meet me for a coffee any time of the day, while my agenda was of course more restricted). Basically, her husband, a British guy, owns a condo in Manila where he is living half of the year, and he spends the other half in the UK. He is the only one working in the couple, and her ladyboy wife is just doing nothing except some rare photo shoots.
When I was talking to another friend of mine, and asking her “What’s your type of man?”, she replied “Any type, as long as he can support me”. The girl is actually unemployed, and apparently plans to keep it that way until she gets a good hearted foreign husband… Fortunately she’s really hot, so she’s getting many foreign boyfriends and will easily get a husband sooner or later. I’m not worried for her.
Support your ladyboy girlfriend, but not too much
Of course, your ladyboy girlfriend possibly earns much less money than you do, if she is an average worker in the Philippines or Thailand, her salary is around 200 euros a month. Providing you earn around 1 500 euros a month, if you want to have the same lifestyle and live together, you’ll have to support her. But to the extent that she stops working and gets bored at home? I don’t believe it’s right.
And what often happens when a ladyboy is bored at home, she simply gets out with her friends, dance in club and eventually have fun with other boys. It’s not what you want for your future wife, do you? And it’s not what she wants either, but you know, when you’re bored… you lose your mind quick.
Talking about myself, Anne (my ladyboy girlfriend) just graduated her bachelor in economics and is actively looking for a job, she’s almost concluded a contract in a big company in Makati (the central business district of Manila). Am I supporting her? Of course I am, she has no revenue and her allowance from her parents doesn’t cover much. But she was not sitting on her ass doing nothing all this time, she was studying hard and that paid off as she graduated. We’ve been living together in a flat that is too expensive for her alone of course, but we made arrangement. I pay for the rent, she pays for the groceries. And she was doing some online work to get some extra dollars, because she believes it’s right if she shares the expenses in our couple.
That’s also part of the many stories, advices and analyses about love relationships with ladyboys that I share in my practical guide: How To Date A Ladyboy.
My point is, in my opinion, it’s not good for a person to be idle. Work is part of every human’s life, and it’s part of us, it’s part of what makes us humans and good humans. People who don’t work end up feeling like shit, like they’re useless and dependent on others. If it’s not possible for her to work (like if your ex-girlfriend was a prostitute and you don’t want her to continue), you can still do something. You can support her to resume her studies if she hasn’t any degree yet, or you can support her to set up a small business (they’re born entrepreneurs in Asia, they just need some capital sometimes). Why not setting up a small business together? (be careful on that one though, never set up a business in Asia with someone you don’t FULLY trust!)
Possibilities to keep her busy, productive and eventually happy and healthy (because it’s what matters!) are legion. Just don’t let her fall in the trap of the easy life, or if she is expecting it, maybe think twice before committing to that one girl.
Are you following the same opinion or is it just me? I would love to read from you, your reactions and feedbacks. And also, don’t forget that I’ve written a book about my story and a practical guide on dating the right ladyboy: