I would like to share how much I feel glad and positive these days about the dimension that my blog reached. Actually, it’s not just a blog, it’s not even a book nor a Facebook group, it’s an EXPERIENCE. It’s the experience that since I published my book, started to militate (at my own little scale) for the recognition of transgender women as more than an object of fantasy, and founded this new community of respectful men who seek serious relationship with ladyboys… since that time, I met a lot of interesting people and learnt a lot from their experience (even though I was supposed to be the teacher myself ahah).
Actually, the biggest thing I learnt, is to measure how many men do actually have the same attraction as me, an attraction for transgender women, and are willing to give them the respect that they deserve and the commitment they are looking for.
I already knew that many men fancy (and fantasise) on ladyboys. If you want a proof of that, you just have to look how many porn websites you find about ladyboys, shemales, dick girls… and I’m just stating the most famous dirty names they’re given! Go to Bangkok or Pattaya, and see how many ladyboy prostitutes you will find, and how many westerners are walking in the streets with a sexy Thai ladyboy at their arm. Even in our western countries, you’ll find many transsexual escorts / prostitutes. Do you know about Bois de Boulogne in Paris? This cute name belongs to a quite big area of Paris where you’ll find exclusively transsexual or tranny prostitutes!
So for a fact, ladyboys are objects of fantasy for many men.
But — thank god I have a but — but I didn’t know that many men are also seriously considering a relationship with a transgender woman, and that goes beyond the simple need to realise the fantasy. I also learnt that they have so many various profiles and backgrounds. At the beginning I was thinking like most of them are sugar daddies or at least divorced men in their 40’s. I was wrong! As for the age, most of them are actually pretty young, between 20 and 30 years old professionals looking for love, in their special attraction. Also divorced men (in their 40 – 50s) who always knew they liked ladyboys, but felt the social pressure to found a “standard” family first.
And these guys are no pervert at all. Of course, they are looking for a partner based on their sexual attraction, but who doesn’t? It’s just different. These guys have jobs (I’ve seen many various types of job in many various fields: construction worker, employee in an office, engineer, waiter, business owner, millionaires…). These guys have families, and friends. In short, they’re just normal guys. It’s actually amazing to see how much I cannot draw a profile for transoriented men, because there is none. There is no profile, we (transoriented men) are just like everybody else, we are just normal. Pick a random sample of transoriented men, compare it with a random sample of non-transoriented men, and you’ll see that they’re literally undistinguishable.
And that’s the beauty of it, once we recognise that we’re just fine and normal, society is starting to recognise it too. I was myself questioning a lot at the beginning of course, in my teen years. Am I normal? Am I a weirdo for feeling such an attraction? No I’m not. No WE are not.
An exchange I got with one of my readers
I always enjoy getting emails from the people who read my book (How to date a ladyboy). Especially when they’re telling me that my book was helpful to them. An exchange I had recently with Sam (he’s American, 22 yo) was really cool. After he read my book, Sam decided he would relocate to Philippines (I suggested Manila of course) right after he graduates (he just did), find a teaching job there and starting a new life in which he could be in search for a ladyboy life partner.
That is no sexual tourism (nor sexual expatriation, like some people say), but he’s putting all the chances on his side for finding his dream ladyboy girlfriend. He’s actually following the path I had, a couple of years ago. And I encourage more people to do the same, as globalisation gives us the opportunity to move and relocate like never before. Like I say in my book, there are plenty of job opportunities for foreigners in Asia, these countries are developing like crazy whereas Europe is near recession.
Although you don’t need to go as far as Asia for finding your ladyboy girlfriend, it’s for sure still the place where you will find the most of them, and where it’s socially very well accepted.
Go for it Sam, and don’t forget we gotta have a beer together (San Mig Light for me) when you’re around Manila 😉