Why am I writing these lines about having a relationship with a ladyboy prostitute? Because the fact is that it is likely to happen to you if you are, like me, attracted to ladyboys. It’s a fact (but I can develop more in a future article): there are a substancial number of prostitutes amongst the population of ladyboys in Thailand and Philippines (and generally South East Asia I guess). And if it’s not prostitute, that can also be escort (which is slightly similar), cam whore or scam artist.
Going straight to the point, I believe that prostitution and relationship are contradictory. Do you see yourself having a girlfriend whose job is to sell her body to other men? Especially if you are a foreigner, and she is likely to have many foreign customers, how does this make you feel? Nah, there is something wrong… Unless she gives up her job for you, you are probably heading to a disaster, endless arguments, jealousy crises and a broken heart.
I think someone once said that the heart has its reasons which Reason doesn’t know (I even think this Pascal Blaise was French, oh), but hey, it’s totally possible that you might fall for a ladyboy sex-worker! What is prostitution but a job after all. Probably most of them are not doing it because they like it (but they might be more or less comfortable with their choice), and they are also humans, with a heart and a brain, they can have kind and adorable personalities and a good heart (they might also be ugly bitches, ugly in the inside I mean). Anyways, if this happens to you, there are a few issues that you should know about…
The cost of having a (ex) prostitute girlfriend
If you fall for a ladyboy sex worker, there are two possibilities: either she can afford to quit her job for you, or she cannot. And when I say “she can afford”, I’d rather say “YOU can afford to make her quit her job”. These girls often are the bread winners for a whole family, their families are relying on them and they’re not going to give them up. Filipinos and Thais are very family oriented, remember this. Many ladyboy prostitutes would genuinely stop their job if you can support them financially (they also say: “take care” of them, especially in Thailand).
It can be more or less depending on the girl… Chances are that she will not get as much from you as she was able to make before. Some will value a genuine boyfriend and a respectful life more than the loss of earnings (and providing that her family doesn’t pressures her). Some will simply not see any interest in lowering their standard of living (usually those who made the choice to live a luxurious life full of shopping and parties) and are not interested in a relationship (beware that they might also be lying about the true nature of their activity, or make you believe that they quit their job for you when in reality they didn’t).
Other materialistic/practical issues might pop up. Prostitutes are of course more exposed to STDs such as AIDS and herpes, and moreover condoms are expensive for many in Thailand and Philippines. Also, visas will be more complicated to obtain if she has a criminal record (you want to take your ladyboy girlfriend to your country someday, right?)
Of course, jealousy and insecurity will be a concern for you. Amongst the stories I heard, I remember many times having the story of the girl who pretends she stopped her activity but it still doing it in the back of her hard-working boyfriend (sometimes even husband!). For old time’s sake, let’s say! Maybe she really loves her boyfriend though. But the temptation of easy money must be hard to resist. Or maybe there is some kind of addiction to this practice… One thing is for sure, it cannot leave someone without psychological damages.
What if love is stronger than this?
I am a sensitive, romantic and somehow old-fashioned guy and cannot see myself with a sex-worker. I am thankful to God that my Anne has never been into this job. But it’s actually a common thing. Many Asian prostitutes (genetic girls or ladyboys) do it in order to save money enough so that they could open their own business later, after some years of sex work. Or they are just relying on finding a foreign boyfriend who will support them, and in this case, they will also quit their activity.
Last week, I presented you this new ladyboy documentary from BBC (first UK TV channel) in which a British guy has a Thai ladyboy girlfriend, and she is an ex-prostitute who stopped her activity for him (watch episode 3). It’s a typical example of how things often go between a foreign man and a ladyboy sex-worker, and in this case it’s a beautiful love story
If the man is resourceful enough, he will support her fiancé in getting another regular job, maybe pursuing further studies or even setting up a small business only for her. In some cases, her boyfriend will take her to his country, giving her the beginning of a new life where most of the people will not even be able to tell that she is not a real girl (westerners are very bad at spotting ladyboys) and where regular jobs provide higher salaries.
Again, every case is different and the most beautiful love stories can happen with a ladyboy who is or used to be a prostitute. Despite the practical issues that you might encounter, if love is present, then I believe that two hearts who love each other can overcome the challenges and build a fruitful relationship, providing that these two hearts are genuinely loving each other, of course!
I am aware that this topic is controversial and might generate comments, critics and opinions sharing. Are you a ladyboy sex worker or a man who has a sex worker girlfriend? What can you tell about it? Do you have similar experiences? I will be more than happy if you could share it with me by commenting below this article (and of course by sharing this page on Facebook and Twitter!)