Online dating for transgenders is broken

online-dating-transsexuals

It’s been a while I didn’t write something on my blog and I want to apologise for it. I’ve been super busy with life, and especially with my new project, which has become very dear to my heart recently (hey not as much as my ladyboy girlfriend of course, nothing beats her, ever!). A dating site of a new kind especially made for transgenders!

I know what you’re going to say: yet another dating site? Well, no, and I’m going to tell you why. Because online dating for transgenders is broken, and my new dating site is solving this.

Online dating for transgenders is broken

Every dating site is built with the same goal: making as much profit as possible. There is no problem with making profit, charging up to 60 dollars a month if that can help you find the love of your life, is a very low price to pay for a lifetime of happiness. Could I even put a price on the awesome relationship I am having right now? Hell no! However, when online dating comes to transgenders, that interest for profit is in conflict with the interest of the members.

Having sex with a transsexual woman is a fetish and a fantasy for a lot of men (way more than what men like to admit openly 😉 ). And that fetishisation of transsexual women is causing what we currently see on the Internet: an excess of porn and sex-related services. Writing my book and this blog was my initiative for showing that, no, ladyboys are NOT just the bar girls of Pattaya you see on TV. This lack of good information is misleading a lot of men, especially men who don’t know much about Asia.

And “ladyboy dating sites” are not missing the point: they advertise transgenders like they are easy girls or cheap asses. They’re never very strict on the profiles, which leads to underlying sex work and dating scams. Seriously, you barely see the difference between a porn website and a dating site for transgenders. And so this situation is leading to two things.

First, that’s attracting men who are here for the wrong reasons, mostly men looking for fun, or a cheaper alternative to paid cam show sites. These guys pay, but that’s not for the sake of finding a girlfriend.

Second, that’s attracting transsexuals who are also here for the wrong reasons. Men who are willing to pay to fulfil their fantasy create a market, so sex workers and scammers come. And nice girls can get tempted and turn evil.

In the end, what option is left for genuine men and transgenders looking for something more serious? None, they have to do with it, sign up on these sites anyways and trying to take the good out from the bad. There is no decent alternative for them.

At last a *decent* dating site for transgenders

So what can I do to change that? Simple, I keep the direction I started with my book and my blog: show-casting transgenders on the bright side for once. Ladyboys are not all the bar girls of Pattaya, transgenders are not all the actresses of your favourite porn movie. And I want my dating site to be the decent and professional alternative that was missing on the Internet until now.

So it has open this month, and it’s already a hit! No seriously, I might be speaking a little advance, but it’s showing good signs that it’s gonna set up the future of online dating for transsexual women.

We have a very strict policy and our moderators are already rigorously making them respected (but always in a light and fun way, we’re here for dating, it’s supposed to be fun, right!). On My Ladyboy Date (that’s the name), you will see no sexy photo, no nudity, no sexually explicit content. Members will be asked to upload a decent photo and description in order to be able to communicate. I know and understand that some men are still “in the closet” regarding this and are reticent to uploading their photo on a dating site made for transgenders. Well it’s something they will have to overcome. My belief is that if you’re not ready to assume posting a photo on a website that respects your privacy (yeah, no photo is ever publicly accessible, contrarily to most other dating sites), you are probably not ready to have a transgender girlfriend… These efforts are asked to our members, so we can focus on the quality rather than quantity.

There are still many concepts and ideas to implement in order to better the system, but our vision is clear: building bridges between transgenders and gentlemen who like transgenders. And doing it well 🙂

The site is already live and you can sign up (it’s free) and see by yourself 🙂 I’ll be writing more on the blog from now on, sharing my ideas and thoughts about dating for transgenders, and how I will try to hopefully change how things used to work until now.

If we are doing it well, that’s hopefully gonna fix online dating transgenders. See you after one year of activity for counting the new couples formed 🙂

French young man living in the Philippines with my ladyboy girlfriend. I wrote a book about my experience on dating transwomen here http://howtodatealadyboy.com and I created the first decent dating site for transwomen there http://myladyboydate.com

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9 thoughts on “Online dating for transgenders is broken

  1. You say “There is no problem with making profit, charging up to 60 dollars a month if that can help you find the love of your life, is a very low price to pay for a lifetime of happiness. Could I even put a price on the awesome relationship I am having right now? Hell no! However, when online dating comes to transgenders, that interest for profit is in conflict with the interest of the members…” However you are charging $40 (converted from Euros) and frankly that is far more than other similar websites are charging – very disappointing Simon

    • Hi JR, thanks for your comment. At the moment I am charging nothing, the site is free to use until 30th of April, so feel free to make the most of it until then 😉

      $40 a month is a reasonable price compared to other dating sites (some charge way more). Some charge less or a free. It’s a choice and it has advantages and drawbacks.

      I had also the choice to make it free for the members (and make revenue from advertising instead). I don’t believe this is a good idea, main reason is that it will lead to a big mess with too much low quality members (ie members who are just here by curiosity / fetish / fantasy, and thus will make lose a lot of time to the members who are really here for dating). Second reason is that a site full of advertising gives a very bad experience to the user, and you know what the advertising company is gonna display automatically on my site? Shemale porn! Very far from my original vision of a clean and decent dating site.

      I am aware the entry price will discourage many men (especially those not living in a first world country, for which the price is reasonable, yeah a man with an average salary in Thailand will find it very expensive…) but that’s the best compromise I found in order to make the site the most effective possible in its original vision: actually helping people to form genuine couples.

      The quantity is not important IMO. Less members maybe? But hopefully more couples formed in the end. I will not hesitate to make stats public when I gather enough data and see if my theory proves right 😉

  2. So their not even allowed to upload sexy photographs? Wtf is wrong with sexy photos? Ladyboykisses.com has plenty of those including a good deal of decent ones all mixed. I don’t think sexiness will influence everyone since the mass majority of transgenders/ladyboys all seem to write the same damn profiles, I don’t know how many profiles I have come across with ” I want to be accepted for who I am, etc” it’s like spam or something because you see that a lot, and only a few will actually go out of the way and type way more than that.

    Regardless I can understand you trying to protect your site, me personally the guys that are just into it for the sex reasons are rather lazy, I mean hell from what I hear you can just travel to the country and find many willing to have sex with you. Kind of pointless to seek something out like that over the net, let alone a dating site. But it’s like I said, I use Ladyboykisses and it has all kinds of photos, I am a little skeptical of those where the ladies look a little too sexy because I feel that they post those sort of pictures then try to sound all nice and sweet in their profile. I usually don’t judge based on what I see, since image doesn’t mean a person is automatically honest. You can find someone fully clothed who can still turn out to be a scammer.

    In all honesty, I wish I could trust someone enough to send them a plane ticket to come to me. I doubt I’ll ever be able to travel overseas unless I had enough money to retire. I simply don’t. And I wont lie to you brother. I like ladyboys, but if the girl doesn’t have a cock and she turns out to be a Post-Op it’s pointless to date her. I would rather just date a real woman with a real woman body part if that were the case. Unlike some people, I do care what she has down there. In a sense I recently identified myself as “Bisexual.” I’m attracted to cocks but only on a woman’s body.

    I would feel like a hypocrite if I were dating a ladyboy with a female body part below the belt, since I’m not into men and yeah I’m aware ladyboys are still men regardless. I mean after all they were born as one and you can never change that realistically. Point is, I’m not one of those guys who are just in it for the fantasy reasons. But when time comes for me to sleep with my woman, she had better have a dick, and one that gets hard. Just saying. There is a logical reason why some gay men are attracted to other men, and if their male partner had a female part, you cannot tell me he wouldn’t care. Because he would care.
    He wants that person to be all male all over. Same way I feel with ladyboys, I want parts to be female, and some parts to be male. Because i could never just outright date a man that looks like a man. Though I find those femboys very attractive too, the ones that look like petite young girls. I seen a few on Ladyboykisses.com so that explains where my bisexuality comes from, being interested in the femboy types.

    • Hi mate, thanks for your comment 🙂 It’s important to note the difference between sexy classy and sexy dirty. I allow sexy photos on my site as long as it doesn’t look like it comes from a porn site. Ladyboys are by essence hyper feminine and like (need) to show off their femininity, it would not be a good idea to go against that.

      However, the type of dirty photos you see on most dating sites for transwomen serves nothing but to degrade the image of the whole trans community, as well as the image of men who like to date them. Shame is put by society on both transwomen and men who like them, and helping to keep this type of photos online is like shooting in my foot, in the foot of my girlfriend and all the other trans and “admirers”.

      Why a ladyboy looking for a serious relationship would feel the need to post naked in her profile? Then she’s likely not looking for anything serious (or she’s desperate?).

      The vision of a clean dating site for transwomen serves a purpose even greater than simply building bridges between 2 souls. It serves the purpose to start building a healthy ecosystem for transwomen, by transwomen, and I’m pretty proud to be part of it.

      As for sexual preference, I have no problem. I see myself pretty much in the same situation as you, and I believe most of our fellow men are also.

  3. Hello Simon,,Thank-you for your site and your comments; really very thoughtful and considerate. I agree with you in that a ladyboy should not change her male parts to feminine. Doing so defeats her sexuality. We liek them beause of ho they are. I have really enjoyed seeing the beatiful pics on even porn sites. i am not an avid fan of the girls . They look so stunning showing their femine side along with their natural parts.sexuality.

    As for the hypersexuality of transwomen , thank-you for explaining .
    I was unaware of this point and sometimes became confused when I saw the ladyboys in bathing suits in thier photos.

    Thank-you for your sense of dignity andbriong a sense of accpetance for us transwoman admires and transwoman.

    Keep writing

  4. ALWAYS remember, that the MAJORITY (means at least 8/10) females AND ESPECIALLY ladyboys on dating websites are there to MAKE MONEY. They use a WIDE array of tactics to make you want to give them money weekly, monthly, whenever. They ALWAYS have troubles in their life. “Studying” (They borrow a study paper from their friend, edit it on computer to have their name, and voilá, they are “studying”), or family trouble, or rent…Blabla. Then they will buy the typical materialist needs they have, which is jewelry, phones, makeups, clothes, alcohol, drugs. That is what they really crave, and that is what you will be supplying them. Always give up on a girl that tries to tell you about their money problems, even after MONTHS of knowing them. Always see, if they have many chatmates. Check their facebook profile friends. A lot of white males there? They are living off of those men. MOST of ladies on dating sites are doing it as their PROFESSION. This is from a person with a real ladyboy girlfriend, and the girlfriend know the scammers and their tactics. Please, do NOT send money abroad to 3rd world countries to your “special girl”.

    • Looks like you speak from experience! I agree so much on your advice to not send any money to anybody you meet online (especially if coming from third world).

      Not sure for the 8/10 number though, I have more optimistic views on that 🙂

  5. The person who wrote you on october 05 . 2014 is right , i already try different website to find the love from one asian transgender, since i was cheated by one of them in my country and all i learn is that this person told you… He just forgot to add that lot of women ask our private messenger and there if few time to be kind they are asking money or ready to start a cam show to earn money…Thats why its really hard to find one serious woman who is really looking for a lifetime partner. So i found your website and wanted to have a try too to see if here i can really find one serious and honest relationship. Until now i have just good conversations but looking the profiles i saw that lot of woman are registred also in the others bad dating sites , or they registred here after been delated from the others sites as ladyboykisses …..
    I wanted to ask you how could we know that the woman we talk is really serious before to be just playing and hurted or insulted.
    Thanks for your nice site , i hope i coudl find finally on My Ladyboy Date, my dream wife…..

    • Salut Lucien!

      It’s really the number one issue we are trying to solve: making sure that our members (both men and women) are on our site for real dating.

      We constantly try to analyse and improve our system so to prevent people with bad intentions from accessing our website. Every dating site is doing this, it works more or less, some websites protect their members better than others. But we know it can never be 100% perfect, because we simply can’t know what’s going in the head of the people. And a talented scam artist can always get his way to fool systems and humans.

      We can skim up a big part of the “professional girls” with our processes. For the rest, we try our best to educate and raise awareness of our members about the potential risks or online dating, so they can evaluate the situation and make the best decision. This applies to life in general actually.

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